When Puns Go Wrong: OCTOPUSSY

Dear Albert R. 'Cubby' Broccoli, U.S. Navy man, film producer, loving husband to three wives and devoted father of three children: I'm glad you're dead.

I mean, I'm happy that you created and produced the Bond films, but let's face it: towards the end there, you were really screwing the pooch.

It's you who bears the brunt of the blame for the horrifying excesses of MOONRAKER, for the increasingly ridiculous pairings of 50-year old Bonds and 20-year old actresses, and I have a feeling you're to blame for the ridiculous title of Roger Moore's sixth appearance as Bond, OCTOPUSSY.


Really? OCTOPUSSY? That's not even trying. You're the same guy that made YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE and LIVE AND LET DIE, great puns both. Of course, you had a little help from Ian Fleming there. But OCTOPUSSY? Why not just give in and call it YET ANOTHER JAMES BOND MOVIE WITH A FLACCID, DECREPIT PENIS SURROUNDED BY SURGICALLY ENHANCED BREASTS?

The Bond films are renowned for a juvenile, smirking attitude towards objectified women, with names like Pussy Galore and Plenty O'Toole looming large in cultural memory, but somehow, to me, Octopussy is offensive on a whole other level, and I think it's because 'Cubby' Broccoli was trying to give women a greater role in the Bond films.

That sounds incredibly sexist. What I mean is, he was trying, and failing miserably. Mr. Broccoli was a product of an earlier, man's-world culture, and the need to update the Bond films to reflect a more inclusive view of sexual politics was simply a job he was not designed for. Starting with 1981's FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, the film preceding OCTOPUSSY, there is a dedicated effort to make women more capable and resistant to Bond's charms, and Bond accordingly more monogamous and respectful (this on the heels of the cringe-inducing "a female doctor?" and "women drivers!" comments of the '70s). However, creating capable, professional women seems like it was antithetical to 'sexy' for Mr. Broccoli and the writers and directors of the '80s Bond films. Often, they settle for one or the other.

Bearing this in mind, the character of Octopussy actually plays an incredibly minor role in the film that bears her name. She's basically a middle man (if you'll excuse the gender-specific phrase), negotiating between the far more sinister villains of General Orlov and Kamal Khan, and eventually is persuaded (sexually, of course) into helping Bond dispose of them. She's kind of insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Naming this film OCTOPUSSY is like calling GOLDFINGER "PUSSY GALORE", in that Ms. Galore shares not only as outrageous a name as Octopussy, but also, a similar role: namely, to be sexually conquered by Bond and made to see the error of her ways, presumably on her way to the kitchen to make James a sandwich.

This often happens to the rarest of character types of the Bond films: that of the independent, financially successful woman. There are usually lesbianic overtones to their independence, their sources of income are often due to the result of some sort of illegal activity, and Bond always forces them away from their success (and vague homosexuality) with his magical transformative dick. Pussy Galore and Jill Valentine are examples of this type from the earlier films, and Octopussy is essentially the same stereotype, just veneered with a gloss of greater importance and an '80s hairdo. The early tagline, "No one does him better" is trying to be as liberating as it is enslaved to the ideology of the past.

Calling the film OCTOPUSSY may have been some sort of token gesture to women viewers, but it simultaneously takes the legs out from underneath that gesture by winking self-consciously at the terrible pun, not to mention the actual limitations of the character. It misses the whole point. In the final analysis, it doesn't indicate any kind of better place for women in the Bond franchise, but is merely the soul of a ten-year old boy giggling at the word "pussy". I'm not sure that'll bring back the female audience, Mr. Broccoli.

I actually enjoy large sections of OCTOPUSSY, specifically the post-titles sequence, wherein a clown-disguised 009 is pursued by a pair of knife-throwing twins and staggers into a diplomatic reception, red nose and all, before dropping a counterfeit Faberge egg at the feet of a shocked ambassador and dying. It's an incredible beginning to a great spy story. There are also some admirable attempts at creating relatively down-to-earth plots and villains, as well as some interesting looks at the Cold War culture. The whole thing is starting to feel the inertia of the Roger Moore era, though, and there's a definite feeling of going through the motions that carries over into A VIEW TO A KILL, in what would blessedly be Moore's final appearance as 007.

'Cubby' Broccoli would go on to make three more Bond films after OCTOPUSSY, almost all of which tried to reinvent Bond and the idea of the "Bond girl". He died during the production of GOLDENEYE, the film that finally brought Bond into the twentieth century. Mr. Broccoli's daughter, Barbara, took over her father's responsibility as the producer of the Bond films. Now, how long will it take for a Bond film to be directed by a woman?