You know, I tried to write this review at least four times. I'm not quite sure how to tackle the whole TWILIGHT phenomenon and the nearly billion dollars the films alone have brought in. So I'm just going to talk about the part that I truly enjoyed about TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE.
Before we get too into this, though, full disclosure: I've read all of the Twilight books. Now, before you run away shrieking in pain, let me explain my reasoning. It's kind of like why I bought 50 Cent's album GET RICH OR DIE TRYING. Seriously.
Stop running away! The 50 Cent thing was supposed to intrigue you, not make you hate me more. Let me explain.
You can't hate on something if you don't understand it. Sure, it's easy to look at 50 sneering at you out of an album cover or Kristen Stewart's best punch-me face on a poster and dismiss it out of hand as stupid, but an informed opinion is only reached by, you know, actually exploring the subject. So sure, 50 Cent should take a lot of heat for "To make it up, I'll do whatever it takes / I love you like a fat kid loves cake" and Stephanie Meyer should take a lot of heat for "'I can do this,' I told myself feebly. No one was going to bite me." but I can give them that well-deserved heat because I've given it a chance. And you know what? There's some fairly impressive world-building in the second Twilight book, and 50 Cent wrote a great song called "Many Men (Wish Death)" ("somewhere my heart turned cold"). So even the worst among us have moments of greatness.
Oh, and Ms. Meyer - I love me a bad pun, but that "bite me" is just awful. Awful. And on page 14 of the first book, nonetheless!
Anyway, that's my low-culture argument. If that wasn't good enough for you, feel free to come back Tuesday, when I'll review something black-and-white, you snobby bitches.
So, the part in Eclipse that really got me: there's this really strange soap opera-y moment where Bella is freezing and Edward has to let Jacob warm her by lying next to her. And, you know, physical contact and stuff! OH NOS. But just before he does so, Jacob gets in this nice dig to Edward: "After all, I am hotter than you." LOL ZOMG!
It's this really weird pandering post-modern moment that really cuts across the story of the film and speaks directly to the whole Team Edward/Jacob marketing ploy. There were gasps and giggles in the show I was at (and no, they were not coming from me). I played it cool, the barest hint of a smile playing at the corners of my mouth. But inside I was freaking out.
And that is how I am ending this review.
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